I'm glad you forgave me, even though there was nothing to forgive. I do not seek attention when I cut. I seek acceptance, and that is from myself and no one else. I do not THREATEN to cut. I do not just FEEL like cutting. I do it. You don't seem to understand cutting. It's not draaaagging it from one side to the next, it's quick, sharp, it doesn't hurt, it burns in the shower, your pants cling to it, you whimper the next day because you feel the tug, and you hide it as best you can. You DON'T cut on your arms, and if you DO you wear something to cover about it. You DON'T write lyrics or post them. You cut where no one will see, and you tell no one unless the subject comes up. You cut in privacy, and you cut for self-acceptance.
YOU DO NOT CUT OUT OF ANGER. EVER. You cut out of despair. You cut out of NEED. Out of FEAR. If I don't cut, I'll die! I'll die if I do! But I won't go THAT far this time, I swear I swear I SWEAR. Have I felt suicidal lately? Yes. Yes I have. But my reasons are not for attention. No. Hardly. If I wanted attention, I'd be you, now wouldn't I? However, I am stronger than that, and I always will be. I don't get ANGRY at people for being suicidal. I don't THREATEN other people with my imminent death. I am quiet, I am still. Cutting is an art. You have to perfect it to do it properly. You don't just cut ONCE. That's called "scratching," and it's for attention purposes ONLY. Cutters like myself go for months. How much would you cut, hmm? Once, twice, break down in tears and drop the tool from your arms and then post about it? That's hardly the case. I cut in scores; my record was forty-eight at one time. No one ever knew, and I didn't post about it for weeks.
If anyone thinks I'm seeking attention, they're sorely incorrect. I don't HAVE to seek it. I GO OUT INTO THE REAL WORLD AND TALK TO PEOPLE. I GET MY SHARE OF SOCIAL INTERACTION, and my fill of attention, thank you very much. I interACT with other people, and it's fantastic. I keep myself busy so as not to brood. Why haven't I cut? Because that's immature, stupid, SELFISH, wrong, and NOT to be tolerated OR understood. It's inhuman, doing that to your very flesh, and if you do that, you are inhuman as well. And making yourself inhuman is the hardest thing to do. Quite frankly, you don't have the strength OR the courage to "cut." Take that as you will; it's a good thing, really, and I'm quite envious of those who haven't done it, who haven't experienced and don't know it. It's not something to know, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Oh, and Caitlind -- if I'm such a horrible person...perhaps you should stop checking my livejournal.
Call me Cynthia, please. You should use my name, if you're being serious.
YOU DO NOT CUT OUT OF ANGER. EVER. You cut out of despair. You cut out of NEED. Out of FEAR. If I don't cut, I'll die! I'll die if I do! But I won't go THAT far this time, I swear I swear I SWEAR. Have I felt suicidal lately? Yes. Yes I have. But my reasons are not for attention. No. Hardly. If I wanted attention, I'd be you, now wouldn't I? However, I am stronger than that, and I always will be. I don't get ANGRY at people for being suicidal. I don't THREATEN other people with my imminent death. I am quiet, I am still. Cutting is an art. You have to perfect it to do it properly. You don't just cut ONCE. That's called "scratching," and it's for attention purposes ONLY. Cutters like myself go for months. How much would you cut, hmm? Once, twice, break down in tears and drop the tool from your arms and then post about it? That's hardly the case. I cut in scores; my record was forty-eight at one time. No one ever knew, and I didn't post about it for weeks.
If anyone thinks I'm seeking attention, they're sorely incorrect. I don't HAVE to seek it. I GO OUT INTO THE REAL WORLD AND TALK TO PEOPLE. I GET MY SHARE OF SOCIAL INTERACTION, and my fill of attention, thank you very much. I interACT with other people, and it's fantastic. I keep myself busy so as not to brood. Why haven't I cut? Because that's immature, stupid, SELFISH, wrong, and NOT to be tolerated OR understood. It's inhuman, doing that to your very flesh, and if you do that, you are inhuman as well. And making yourself inhuman is the hardest thing to do.
Quite frankly, you don't have the strength OR the courage to "cut." Take that as you will; it's a good thing, really, and I'm quite envious of those who haven't done it, who haven't experienced and don't know it. It's not something to know, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Oh, and Caitlind -- if I'm such a horrible person...perhaps you should stop checking my livejournal.