TRUFAX RIGHT HERE PEOPLE

[preussisch_blau]

You didn't read it here first if you're friends with iamstillthemoon, but apparently being extremely upset about something that happens on LJ is equal to injuring yourself to gain attention!

Apologies for those on the f-list who dislike all-caps, but I think the title needed it.

Comments

[foofighter0234.livejournal.com]

The truth is, when all the drama shit happened on 2/13, I was THIS CLOSE to cutting.

I was extremely depressed, NOT attention seeking.

Call me Cynthia, please. You should use my name, if you're being serious.

[trulydemure.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you forgave me, even though there was nothing to forgive. I do not seek attention when I cut. I seek acceptance, and that is from myself and no one else. I do not THREATEN to cut. I do not just FEEL like cutting. I do it. You don't seem to understand cutting. It's not draaaagging it from one side to the next, it's quick, sharp, it doesn't hurt, it burns in the shower, your pants cling to it, you whimper the next day because you feel the tug, and you hide it as best you can. You DON'T cut on your arms, and if you DO you wear something to cover about it. You DON'T write lyrics or post them. You cut where no one will see, and you tell no one unless the subject comes up. You cut in privacy, and you cut for self-acceptance.

YOU DO NOT CUT OUT OF ANGER. EVER. You cut out of despair. You cut out of NEED. Out of FEAR. If I don't cut, I'll die! I'll die if I do! But I won't go THAT far this time, I swear I swear I SWEAR. Have I felt suicidal lately? Yes. Yes I have. But my reasons are not for attention. No. Hardly. If I wanted attention, I'd be you, now wouldn't I? However, I am stronger than that, and I always will be. I don't get ANGRY at people for being suicidal. I don't THREATEN other people with my imminent death. I am quiet, I am still. Cutting is an art. You have to perfect it to do it properly. You don't just cut ONCE. That's called "scratching," and it's for attention purposes ONLY. Cutters like myself go for months. How much would you cut, hmm? Once, twice, break down in tears and drop the tool from your arms and then post about it? That's hardly the case. I cut in scores; my record was forty-eight at one time. No one ever knew, and I didn't post about it for weeks.

If anyone thinks I'm seeking attention, they're sorely incorrect. I don't HAVE to seek it. I GO OUT INTO THE REAL WORLD AND TALK TO PEOPLE. I GET MY SHARE OF SOCIAL INTERACTION, and my fill of attention, thank you very much. I interACT with other people, and it's fantastic. I keep myself busy so as not to brood. Why haven't I cut? Because that's immature, stupid, SELFISH, wrong, and NOT to be tolerated OR understood. It's inhuman, doing that to your very flesh, and if you do that, you are inhuman as well. And making yourself inhuman is the hardest thing to do.
Quite frankly, you don't have the strength OR the courage to "cut." Take that as you will; it's a good thing, really, and I'm quite envious of those who haven't done it, who haven't experienced and don't know it. It's not something to know, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Oh, and Caitlind -- if I'm such a horrible person...perhaps you should stop checking my livejournal.

Re: Call me Cynthia, please. You should use my name, if you're being serious.

[foofighter0234.livejournal.com]

I appreciate that you gave me her response.

I have to say that I am not attention seeking. I know just as well how much depression can hurt.

[foofighter0234.livejournal.com]

A. She talked with me last night and we're reconciling.

[m-buggie.livejournal.com]

I believe you are confusing cowardice with the act of turning the other cheek and taking the high road...which, unfortunately, I can no longer say I have taken now that I have replied to this comment.

[thimpressionist.livejournal.com]

Let's see if I understand this correctly. It's OK for you to gossip and say hurtful, slanderous things on your journal. It's OK for you to defend your friends, and go after people that *you* perceive to be in the wrong. But it's not OK for anyone else to defend their friends or be upset over your obnoxious behaviour? That is remarkably hypocritical on your part. If you are so above it all, what are you doing here, insulting people and making a fuss?

*Because I'm civil. Who knew?* Well no, actually, your behaviour, towards Jen in particular, has been manipulative, petty and cruel.

For goodness sakes, grow up.

[m-buggie.livejournal.com]

Considering the fact that you continue to have nothing but vindictive and mean-spirited things to say about Jen, I'm going to have to laugh at your proclamation of being civil. Such name-calling is anything but.

Re: CYNTHIA.

[foofighter0234.livejournal.com]

I never said I cut in the first place.

"almost" cutting and "cutting" are two different things.

[(Anonymous)]

You like to quote scripture, right?



"For those who have thought it within their hearts, it is as to them that they have done such a thing."




It's selfish to put your friends through that terror.